


JM Shepard Drabbles

by Ltleflrt



Series: Hope in the Aftermath [16]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, Mini fics, Tumblr Prompts, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:43:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ltleflrt/pseuds/Ltleflrt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mini fics about John Matthew (JM) Shepard and Kaidan.  Each chapter is standalone.  Most of this will apply to my "Hope in the Aftermath" universe or the "Feels Like Home" universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Piano Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a happy sequel to Chapter 8 of A Series of Kisses. Yes, I put a sequel to a single chapter in a whole other series. Yay! :D

On their five year anniversary, Kaidan buys Shepard a piano. Not a holo-keyboard or even an electric physical keyboard. It was a baby grand, and he had to cash in nearly every favor anyone owed him in order to get it. 

Keeping it a secret was a nightmare. He should have known better than to talk to Joker about it. He’d immediately gotten a message from EDI with a report on where pianos could be purchased and pricing and shipping schedules. Of course once EDI knew, then everyone knew. But luckily the secret never leaked to Shepard. 

They spent the day being completely lazy. They lounged around in sweats and tshirts, and bare feet. The most strenuous thing they did was help each other make dinner. Afterwards they were eating ice cream straight out of the tub when they received the alert that someone was at the door. Spoon still in his mouth, Shepard frowned, and he looked toward the front of the house in confusion. 

Kaidan was proud of himself for his nonchalance as he got up to answer the door. He couldn’t help his grin when his back was to Shepard though. It widened when he opened the door.

It took a few hours to get it set up and tuned, and if Shepard had been wearing shoes he would have vibrated right out of them because he was so excited. He kept going back and forth between wanting to watch over the shoulders of the men who were setting it up, and hugging Kaidan fiercely. At one point he peppered Kaidan’s face with kisses, whispering about how much he loved him in between each one. 

Kaidan blushed brightly at the effusive display of physical affection in front of the people he didn’t know, but he accepted it with a silent smile. When the delivery receipt had been signed and the workers had left, Kaidan turned to see Shepard sitting on the piano bench, staring at the keys.

“Are you going to play something?” he asked as he came up behind Shepard.

“I don’t know what I want to play,” Shepard said softly. 

Kaidan remembered that night Shepard had woken him up playing the piano in Anderson’s apartment. He was about to suggest Moonlight Sonata, but Shepard’s fingers spread over the keys.

The sweet notes of Für Elise drifted through the house. Shepard stumbled a little at first — it had been a very long time since he’d played as far as Kaidan knew — but the song was recognizable. The music smoothed out as Shepard played. When the song was finished, he started another, and then played another after that. 

Kaidan recognized some of the songs, but not all of them. It amazed him that Shepard remembered all of them. 

When the music finally fell silent, Shepard got up from the bench and wrapped his arms tightly around Kaidan’s shoulders. “I didn’t get you anything,” he said.

“Sure you did,” Kaidan said with a smile. “You gave me a show.”

Shepard’s eyes were soft, and glowed with love. But then he cracked a grin. “There’s another kind of show I can give you,” he said, wagging his brows suggestively.

“Hm, yes,” Kaidan murmured, then he laughed unable to stay serious in the face of Shepard’s goofy smile. “I think that sounds like a perfect gift.”


	2. Prompt: Zip Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Chapter :D
> 
> The prompt was "Zip Me" from aynapistolethetarts.tumblr

The mission had gone well. They’d cleared out the Cerberus presence and the canons were operational again. The firefight had been intense, but the team hadn’t sustained any injuries.

Blood was still pumping faster than usual through Shepard’s veins, and he watched Kaidan silently as the other man laughed and joked with James. In the aftermath of a fight, adrenaline always made Shepard’s skin extra sensitive, and he couldn’t help imagining what he wanted to do with Kaidan’s scarred lips once they were back in their cabin.

When the shuttle settled into Normandy’s bay, Shepard stood still, one hand still gripping the handle above his head. James exited first, shouting excitedly to Garrus who’d come down to the shuttle bay to talk to them about the mission. Kaidan hopped out after him, and Shepard licked his lips at the sight of his body flexing under his armor.

Steve gave Shepard a curious glance, when he left the shuttle’s cockpit and saw him still standing there. When their eyes met, Steve’s confusion melted away and he grinned knowingly. He gave a half salute and jumped out of the shuttle as well.

Shepard felt his lips twitch up into a smile, but it faded quickly. Stepping down out of the shuttle, he stopped next to it, and his eyes found Kaidan immediately. The Major was talking to Garrus while James started unsnapping the fastenings of his armor. 

Something predatory welled up in him. “Major,” he said simply. His voice was soft, but pitched to carry.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him. Kaidan’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Yes, Commander?” he asked when Shepard didn’t speak.

Shepard wanted to laugh. It wasn’t his intention to use the voice of command that had most soldiers snapping to attention. It had just come out. “I need to speak with you for a moment,” he said, still in that low tone. “Alone.”

Garrus and James exchanged surprised looks, but Steve just grinned. “Everyone out,” he said. He threw an arm around James’ shoulder and guided him toward the elevator doors. 

James must have caught on to what was happening because he didn’t complain about still being in his own heavy armor. He grinned too, and let Steve lead him away. Garrus still looked confused, probably thinking he’d never fully understand humans, but he also followed.

When the shuttle bay was empty, Shepard stalked toward Kaidan. Absently, he started unbuckling parts of his armor as he walked.

Kaidan finally caught on to his mood. “I get the feeling you don’t really want to talk,” he said.

Shepard had reached him by that time. He grabbed the edge of Kaidan’s armor and pulled him into a rough kiss. Normally, he wasn’t very aggressive, but he was so damn happy and relieved that something had gone right this time. It was making him feel a little more alpha male than normal. 

And Kaidan was allowing him to take charge. He opened up to the kiss and moaned into Shepard’s mouth. Their armor made clacking noises as their bodies tried to connect through the layers of metal and polymer. 

Still holding him in place, Shepard broke the kiss. Their breath had turned to harsh gasps again, reminding him of the shouts and gasps that would come through his com link during battle, and his adrenaline spiked again. “I want you to suck me off,” he said against Kaidan’s mouth.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Kaidan said, his scarred mouth turned up in a smile that Shepard couldn’t see from this close, but he could feel as their mouths brushed again.

They both began to fumble at Shepard’s armor, removing the groin plate, and nothing else. Kaidan dropped to his knees, and reached for the seal of Shepard’s under suit. Despite the fact that he was still wearing his gauntlets, he soon had the seal opened and Shepard’s hard dick free.

The feel of Kaidan’s gauntleted hands on his flesh ratcheted Shepard’s desire up several more notches. Roughly, he palmed the back of Kaidan’s head and pulled him forward. Hot wet heat engulfed him, and his head fell back as far as the back of his armor would allow. Unable to stop himself, he thrust his hips forward, encouraging the other man to take him deeper.

For several minutes the only sound in the shuttle bay was the sound of Shepard’s moans and low words of encouragement, the wet sucking sounds of Kaidan’s mouth around his dick, and the hum of electricity that was always in the background. When he came, it was with a grunt, and a softly muttered “Fuck, yes.”

Shepard’s knees went weak, and he stumbled back against the counter and out of Kaidan’s grip. He closed his eyes and sucked in lungfuls of air.

There was a soft chuckle, and the sound of armor against the metal floor as Kaidan got back to his feet. Soft lips, pressed against Shepard’s jaw. “Feel better?” Kaidan asked, low and husky.

“I feel fucking fantastic, thank you,” Shepard murmured. He opened his eyes to find Kaidan grinning up at him. “I’m going to need a few minutes to return the favor though.”

Kaidan laughed again. “Let’s get out of this armor and go up to your cabin,” he said. His dark eyes glinted with promise. “You can pay me back by letting me fuck you over the desk.”

Suddenly Shepard didn’t feel so drained. “Yes, sir,” he agreed as his hands reached for more buckles.


	3. Prompt: Unbind Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was "Unbind Me" from Silvermittt.tumblr
> 
> This is NSFW and includes bondage.

Kaidan stroked shuddering limbs, gently. His fingertips slid feather light over a heaving chest. His lips traced the line of a stubbled jaw.

A soft whimper broke the silence and Kaidan cupped Shepard’s jaw. “Shhh,” he breathed against the shell of his ear. “Come back to me, now.”

Shepard’s lips trembled, and he sucked in a deep breath. “I lo-love you,” he stuttered through chattering teeth.

“Oh, John,” Kaidan said, as he pulled Shepard into his arms. “I love you, too. God, I love you.”

Shepard turned blindly and nuzzled against Kaidan’s chest. He didn’t speak again, but he stroked his cheek against Kaidan’s bare skin. Slowly the twitching and trembling began to ebb as he lay cradled in Kaidan’s arms.

“Are you ready to see?” Kaidan asked softly.

Shepard nodded.

Kaidan almost asked him to say it out loud, but he’d put Shepard through a lot already that evening and he did not want to wear him out any further. He reached for the ties holding Shepard’s blindfold in place and tugged until the simple knot slipped free. The silky black cloth slid away and Kaidan tossed it off the edge of the bed. Shepard’s eyes were still closed. “Open your eyes for me, love.”

Long thick lashes lifted to reveal a thin ring of blue around wide pupils. 

“Hello, handsome,” Kaidan said, smiling down at him.

Shepard’s lips spread into a tired smile. “Hello,” he replied. His voice was hoarse.

“Are you thirsty?”

Another nod. Kaidan smiled warmly. He stroked a finger over one of Shepard’s eyebrows before leaning carefully to the side and picking up the glass of water he’d left on the bedside table just this purpose. He held it to Shepard’s lips, carefully tilting it up enough to allow the water to trickle into his mouth.

Shepard swallowed eagerly, lifting his head for better access. 

“Careful,” Kaidan cautioned. 

Blue eyes flicked up to him, and they lit up warmly. Once he’d had his fill, he leaned his head back and Kaidan set the glass back on the table. “You take such good care of me,” Shepard said. His voice was smoother now, but laced with exhaustion. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve done.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but grin at the thought of the beautiful stripes that only he and Shepard would know about. It was almost a shame that his clothing would cover it. “You’re so beautiful,” he said. “I’m so thankful you allow me the pleasure of seeing you like this.”

“I trust you, Kaidan,” Shepard said.

Love filled Kaidan, and it amazed him that he could hold that much emotion inside. Tears filled his eyes. “Thank you,” he said, and now it was his voice that was hoarse, shaking with everything he felt for the man in his arms. 

Their lips met in a gentle kiss. When they parted, they shared a smile.

“I’m going to untie you now, okay?” Kaidan asked.

Shepard nodded, and Kaidan laid him gently back on the bed. It took time to loosen the silken ties, and he was hard by the time he was finished. But he ignored the needs of his body, and gathered Shepard close. The sheets were damp with sweat and other fluids, but neither of them cared.

Sleep came to them both quickly because they were in each other’s arms.


	4. Prompt: Quiet Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was "Quiet Me" from Silvermitt.tumblr

Other than the hum of the engines, the shuttle was dead silent. No one had spoken since leaving the temple on Thessia. Liara sat staring straight ahead, her lips pressed together in a thin line, and her fists clenched in her lap. Shepard stood near the door, gripping a handle above his head and staring at the floor.

Kaidan also stood, and he cast glances between them, wondering who would crack first. 

When the door slid open, Liara exploded from her seat and went running for the elevator. Kaidan was tempted to follow. He knew how it felt, after all. Seeing your planet fall was… well it was an experience that no one should ever have. 

But Kaidan saw the pain in Shepard’s eyes as he also watched Liara running across the bay. As much as Kaidan cared for Liara, Shepard was his number one priority.

Shepard was going to crack, and Kaidan was going to be there to help him pick up the pieces. It wasn’t just because he loved the Commander. A coldly logical part of him knew that the galaxy needed Shepard, and Shepard needed him. Kaidan would not shirk that duty.

Still silent, Shepard stepped out of the shuttle, moving deliberately and without haste. He settled his weapons into a rack, but did not stop to remove his armor. The elevator doors had closed behind Liara by the time Shepard and Kaidan reached them, and they had to wait a few minutes before they opened again.

Once inside the conveyance, Shepard started fiddling with the catches on his vambraces. His eyes were unfocused, and Kaidan could imagine what he was thinking. Shepard would play the scenario over and over in his mind, trying to figure out where he went wrong. Kaidan knew better than to try and stop him. It was something Shepard needed to do.

But he also knew what it looked like when Shepard was on the edge. How many panic attacks had he soothed? How many nightmares had sent Shepard thrashing in his arms at night? Enough that Kaidan knew the signs to look for.

The elevator doors opened, and Shepard stepped out and through the doors into his cabin, Kaidan close on his heels. He stopped at the top of the stairs and removed one vambrace. He turned it over and over in his hands. 

Kaidan moved up next to him. “John?” he asked tentatively. 

“I fucked up, Kaidan,” Shepard said so quietly that Kaidan had to strain his ears to hear him. 

“No, John-”

Shepard let out a wordless shout of rage and threw the vambrace across the cabin. It apparently wasn’t enough, and he screamed again. “FUCK!” He spun and slammed his fist into the fishtank.

Kaidan winced, both in sympathy for Shepard’s knuckles and for the glass. Fish darted away from the impact, but luckily the glass didn’t break. Shepard only screamed again, and pulled his fist back for another punch.

“John stop,” he said, reaching for Shepard’s shoulder. He wished they’d stopped to take their armor off downstairs so he could feel more than just the hard, cold polymers under his palm. 

“I can’t stop, Kaidan!” Shepard cried. His voice was hoarse, damaged from the screams. He turned his head to look at Kaidan, and his eyes swam with unshed tears. “The Reapers won’t stop, and I can’t either.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Kaidan said gently. God, he wanted to cry too. But he held it in. Shepard needed him to be the strong one right now. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.” He took Shepard’s hand and pulled the armored gauntlet off so he could examine his knuckles.

“How many more planets do I have to watch fall before this is over, Kaidan?” Shepard’s voice broke on the last word, and the damn broke with it. He sobbed, and his knees collapsed.

Kaidan caught him, but carefully lowered them both to sit together on the floor. Holding Shepard was awkward with their armor on, but he pulled him close and whispered nonsense words of comfort against buzzed black hair. He felt the tears begin to roll down his own cheeks, but he ignored them as he rocked Shepard back and forth like a child.

When Shepard’s wracking sobs finally ebbed away, he lifted his head and looked at Kaidan. He reached up with his bare, bruised hand and brushed at the tears on Kaidan’s cheek. “I’m going to get that data back,” he said. His voice was gruff, but firm with conviction, but his next words were soft. “Thank you for being here with me.”

Kaidan pressed his forehead to Shepard’s and took a deep shuddering breath. “Thank you for letting me be here.”


	5. Prompt: Kill Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was "Kill Me" from Tampon11.tumblr

“Okay, okay! How about this one?” Joker said over the sound of everyone’s laughter. He leaned forward on the couch and pointed a finger at Liara. “Primarch Victus, Sha’ira, or Councilor Udina. Fuck, marry, kill?”

Liara’s cheeks darkened, but she let out a throaty laugh. “Oh, that’s too easy,” she answered. “I’d uh.. fuck,” she still hesitated over the word even though they’d been playing the game for a while, “Sha’ira of course. She’d know the best way to do it.” That brought laughter all around the room, and a few excited woops. “I’d marry Victus because I think I’d make a wonderful political wife.”

“And of course everyone wants to kill Udina,” James said with a laugh.

There was chorus of agreement, and everyone toasted the idea.

“Alright, my turn,” Liara said. “James. Your choices are Councilor Tevos, Aria, and that pretty dancer I saw you checking out in Purgatory the last time we were there.”

“Dios, can’t I just fuck all of them?” James whined. 

Jack punched him in the arm. “That’s not how the game works, asshole,” she growled. 

James laughed as he rubbed his arm, but he answered. “Well, politicians always go on the kill list. I’d fuck Aria because even I don’t have the juevos to ask her to marry me. Which means I’m marrying a stripper! Hell yeah!” He punched the air triumphantly.

Next to him, Steve was grinning widely. “You just want free dances,” he said before taking a drink of his beer.

“Man, who doesn’t?” James replied. His expression turned wicked and he turned to Kaidan. “Alright, Vanilla, you’re turn. Jack, Steve, Shepard. Fuck, marry, kill?”

Kaidan blinked in surprise and the room fell silent.

“Oh that’s not fair,” Samantha said from where she was cuddled up next to EDI. On the other side of the mech, Joker nodded agreement. “Crew members should be against the rules.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kaidan said quickly. He grinned, knowing the answer to the question without even having to think about it. “I’ll answer.”

“You couldn’t kill me, Alenko,” Jack sneered. 

“Well I was planning on fucking you,” he countered, and laughed when her mouth fell open in surprise. He turned his attention to Steve. “And I’d marry Steve. I think we’d do well growing old together.” He winked at the pilot, and turned his attention to Shepard who was sitting sideways on the couch, his back braced against the couch arm, and his legs draped over Kaidan’s lap.

Shepard raised a scarred eyebrow at him. “Me?” he asked in surprise. “You’d kill me?”

“Well, you always come back,” Kaidan answered softly, all the love he felt shining from his eyes.

He received a slow smile in return. “I’ll always come back for you,” Shepard said just as quietly.

“Oh god,” Jack said in choked voice. “You guys are going to make me puke.”


	6. Sleeping Habits

Kaidan asleep on the couch, one arm up over his head and the other draped over the cream colored cat curled up on his stomach. JM kneeling on the floor next to him, watching Kaidan sleep while he rubs a finger over the cat’s forehead, listening to her purr and feeling just as content with the moment as she is.

JM asleep on his side, wrapped like burrito in his favorite blanket with the edges pulled up under his chin. Kaidan lying next to him, facing him, awake because the blankets have all migrated to Shepard’s side of the bed, but not minding at all because it gives him the rare chance to see his lover sleeping.


	7. Happy Holidays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matt Shepard and Kaidan from Feels Like Home 'Verse.

"Ok, it’s a little bit chilly."

Shepard shivered and cast a glance at Kaidan. He took in the long sleeved Henley Kaidan was wearing and then looked down at his own leather jacket. He had his hands tucked his his pockets, but he still couldn’t feel his fingers. ”You’re kidding, right?’

Eyes the shade of dark honey flashed up at Shepard through black lashes, and Kaidan chuckled. ”I should have grabbed a hoodie before we left.”

They were walking from Miranda and Jack’s house, back to their own home. It wasn’t very far, certainly not far enough to justify driving, but Shepard wished he’d brought his truck just so he could turn up the heater and warm his cheeks. They sky was clear and dotted with millions of stars that sparkled like shards of ice in the moonless sky. 

Of course a clear sky meant colder temperatures, especially in the dead of winter and on Christmas Eve, no less. He shivered again, and curled his hands into fists inside his pockets. 

Kaidan hooked an arm through his and leaned close. ”Wuss,” he murmured. The words carried to Shepard’s ear on a cloud of steam in the cold night air.

Shepard leaned down and rubbed his cold nose against Kaidan’s ear. He smirked when Kaidan shivered. ”Shut up. When we get home, you’re warming me up.”

The smile he received in return was hot enough that Shepard suddenly felt like he was wearing too many layers. They both picked up their step, eager to get home.


	8. New Years Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this drunk, and with no editing. Forgive the errors :D

Shepard tilted his head up to give Kaidan better access to his throat.  He bit his upper lip to stifle a moan when teeth scraped across his adam’s apple.  The hand that wasn’t balled up in Kaidan’s shirt to pull him closer twitched and he nearly dropped his beer bottle.  Only by sheer force of will did he tighten his grip on the cool glass.  He exhaled shakily when Kaidan’s mouth moved lower, teasing the skin at the base of his throat with the wet slide of his tongue.

Kaidan’s hips pressed forward, and Shepard dug his shoulders back into the wall he was leaning against so that he could have enough leverage to thrust back.  The cloth separating them made him want to growl in frustration.

He must have made a sound anyway because Kaidan’s chuckle swept over his collarbone in a rush of hot, moist air.  “We should probably go back to our guests,” Kaidan murmured.  He brushed his lips back and forth over Shepard’s skin, not quite a kiss.  

Before Kaidan could pull away, Shepard wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him closer.  The weight of his husband pushed Shepard back into the wall.  “Not yet.”

Kaidan’s body shook with his soft laughter, and he lifted his head to stare into eyes darkened with lust.  Only a thin rim of blue showed around Shepard’s pupils, and his skin was flushed and damp.  Kaidan’s eyes dropped to Shepard’s mouth, and his own twitched up in a smile when he saw how swollen and red Shepard’s lips were from the kisses they’d been sharing.  “We’re not exactly in the most private spot, Shepard.” He pointed out as reasonably as possible. 

He made no move to extricate himself from Shepard’s grip despite his words.  He hadn’t exactly been thinking with his upstairs head for the last twenty minutes or so.  Not since Shepard had come up behind him while he was talking to Miranda and started nuzzling his amp jack.  Electricity had arced through him, and it had nothing to do with static build-up.

Shepard’s voice had been husky in Kaidan’s ear when he told Miranda that he was going to steal her conversation partner for a few minutes.  Kaidan had followed him out of the room with no more than a shrug and an apologetic smile.  Miranda’s sly smile told him she more than understood.  Her wink told him she approved.

They’d found a dark corner and Kaidan had lost track of time as he’d explored Shepard’s mouth with his own.  He had no idea how long they’d been here, licking into each other and sharing each other’s breath.  But no one had come to find them yet, and he was grateful, especially when Shepard dug his fingers into his hair to pull him down into another kiss.

“Bedroom,” Shepard moaned against Kaidan’s lips.  He felt like he was burning up, and he needed to get out of his clothes.  Now.

“Our guests-”

“Christ, Kaidan,” Shepard whined.  “They’ll understand.”  The only people invited to the exclusive Alenko-Shepard New Years Eve party were old friends from the war.  Shepard and Kaidan had disappeared on them to fool around during many parties over the years.  A few of those friends had accidentally learned the hard way that it wasn’t a good idea to go looking for the two old Spectres.

Kaidan still looked undecided, so Shepard leaned forward to press his teeth into the curve of his jaw.  He licked over the spot he’d bitten, loving the rasp of stubble against his tongue.  He pushed his hips into Kaidan’s, feeling the bulge of his excitement pressing eagerly at the cloth of his pants.  “Please Kaidan,” he husked, biting again, a little harder.  “I need you to fuck me.”

Those were the magic words.  Kaidan’s eyes dropped shut and he groaned, pressing Shepard further into the wall for a moment before he was all motion.  His strong fingers wrapped tight around Shepard’s wrist as he dragged him to their bedroom at the back of the condo.  Shepard set his half empty beer bottle on a table as they passed it so that he had both hands free.  

It was a good thing, because Kaidan barely kicked the door shut behind him before he was tugging his shirt off, and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper.  “Clothes off, now,” he bit off as he began working at the fastenings of his slacks.

Shepard didn’t bother with a  _Yes, Sir,_ because he was already half out of his own clothes.  Kaidan shoved his own pants down over his hips, taking his underwear down with them and freeing his hard length.  The sight made Shepard’s mouth water and instead of sliding out of his own pants, he dropped to his knees at Kaidan’s feet and without preamble, swallowed down as much of Kaidan’s cock as he could in one go.

“Fuck, John,” Kaidan moaned.  His head fell back on his shoulders and his hips twitched forward involuntarily as the wet slide of Shepard’s tongue teased him.  He didn’t worry about Shepard’s gag reflex as he tangled his fingers in the short hair at the back of his neck and pushed himself deeper into a welcoming throat.  After almost ten years of marriage, he knew how much his husband could take.  

Now that Shepard had talked him into this little interlude, Kaidan fell into it with abandon.  Keeping the short hair at the back of Shepard’s neck wrapped tight in his fingers, Kaidan began fucking into his mouth at a steady rhythm.  He cupped Shepard’s jaw with his other hand, feeling the muscles and tendons flex in his throat as he took Kaidan deep with every thrust.  

Kaidan dropped his head back down, wanting to see Shepard’s expression, but the room was dark.  Muttering, Kaidan let go of Shepard’s jaw long enough to reach behind him and run his fingers over the wall to the control panel.  It was probably pure luck that he was able to find the button for the lights.  

Shepard was looking up at him with eyes black with lust.  His lips were wet and red from the friction of Kaidan’s dick thrusting between them.  The sight nearly sent Kaidan over the edge, and he bit back a curse as he pulled away from Shepard’s mouth.  He ignored the downright filthy whimper of displeasure that fell from his husband’s swollen lips, and tilted his head up with a hand under his jaw.  “Get your clothes off, and get on the bed,” he ordered, his own voice thick with passion.  

Shepard grinned up at Kaidan.  “Yes, Sir,” he mumbled as he got back to his feet, ignoring the twinge in his bum knee.  He gave zero fucks if kneeling at his husband’s feet was bad for his knee.  If he was going to cripple himself, he couldn’t think of a better way to do it.  

It was only a matter of seconds to get his pants off, and he was thankful that he’d foregone shoes for the party.  He was almost positive he didn’t have the dexterity to get a pair of boots unlaced at the moment.  Leaving his jeans in a pile at the foot of the bed, Shepard scrambled up onto the mattress.

“On your hands and knees.”

Shepard’s stomach flipped at the quietly snapped order.  He rolled, resting his weight on his elbows and tilting his hips invitingly.  He twisted enough to look over his shoulder to see his husband standing at the foot of the bed, stroking himself as he looked over Shepard’s body.  Kaidan’s eyes, normally a warm honey color, were dark.  His expression one of intense concentration, but his lips quirked up on one side with approval.

“Good boy.”

That gravelly voice went to Shepard’s brain like a shot of fine whiskey.  He dropped his head down to rest on the blanket between his arms and pushed his hips out even further.  “Kaidan….”

A shiver ran through Kaidan when Shepard whined his name.  He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he admired the twitch and clench of muscles in Shepard’s back and thighs.  He knew the texture of that taught skin, and how far he could dig his fingers into that ass that was tilted up to him in silent supplication.  He knew the shade of red that would grace Shepard’s skin if Kaidan smacked him, or how much pressure he would need to apply with teeth and nails for the marks to appear.  

He knew the sounds Shepard would make when Kaidan sunk his fingers, and then his cock deep into his ass.  And he knew the best way to make Shepard beg, and just how long he could wait before Shepard would lose all control of himself and turn into a shuddering heap under Kaidan’s hands.  

Still stroking himself with one hand, Kaidan gestured with the other.  The bedside table’s drawer slid open and with a twist and flick of his fingers, Kaidan pulled the bottle of lube across the short space.  

Shepard chuckled.  “Showoff.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but respond with a soft laugh of his own.  He stepped forward and braced his knee on the bed behind Shepard.  Without preamble, he leaned down and pressed a kiss in the cleft of Shepard’s ass, right above the tight pucker that was begging for attention.  

Shepard made a soft huffing sound and arched his back further.  “Kaidan, please.”

Thumbing the bottle of lube open, Kaidan drizzled the cold liquid over the spot where he’d just pressed his lips.  He watched as it drizzled down, leaving a slick trail down until droplets began to drip from Shepard’s balls.

Shepard hissed at the cold sensation, but didn’t move away from it.  He was rewarded with the pressure of Kaidan’s fingers against him, sliding the slick fluid around before finally pressing two fingers into him.  Shepard pressed his face into the bed to muffle a whimper, but Kaidan heard him anyway.

“God, you make the dirtiest sounds,” Kaidan said with a chuckle.

Shepard opened his mouth to say something that he was sure would be a witty retort, but instead all he did was gasp and then moan when Kaidan added a third finger.  He began to rock his hips, fucking himself on Kaidan’s hand.

His brain short circuited with Kaidan’s fingers curled inside of him, brushing the sensitive bundle of nerves.  His dick felt swollen and neglected, and the dull ache spread through his stomach and into his chest.  Unconsciously, he began to speak.  He wasn’t completely aware of what he was saying, but whatever it was made Kaidan chuckle.  Soft lips pressed against his hip and teeth dug into his skin for a moment, making Shepard’s muscles jump.

Kaidan smiled at the nonsensical sounds Shepard was making.  He was muffled by the bedspread he had his face buried in, but Kaidan caught the occasional _oh fuck, yes_  and  _killing me here._   But when it became a litany of  _please please pleasepleaseplease,_  he finally decided that he was done teasing.  

Ignoring Shepard’s whimpered protests, Kaidan pulled his fingers free.  As he positioned himself behind Shepard, gripping his hips with fingers still slick with lube, he caught sight of the clock on the bedside table.

11:58 PM.

So maybe he wasn’t finished teasing Shepard just yet.  He leaned down, resting his chest on Shepard’s back.  “John, tell me your New Year’s resolution.”

Shepard’s head jerked to the side as he tried to catch Kaidan’s eyes.  “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Kaidan bit down on Shepard’s shoulder.  A small punishment for not answering.  “Tell me, John.”

Under him, Shepard growled and pushed his hips back in an effort to get what wanted.  Kaidan moved with him, keeping just out of reach.  Another growl, and then a whimper.  “I resolve to make you suffer for this.”

Kaidan laughed.  A full bellied laugh that vibrated through Shepard’s body.  “Kaidan-”

“Shhh,” Kaidan breathed against the spot on his shoulder he’d dug his teeth into.  “That’s as good a resolution as any.”

Shepard almost snapped at him, but then he felt Kaidan nudging into him.  He sighed, every muscle in his body relaxing as he finally got what he wanted.  After so many years, his body accepted Kaidan with no resistance.  He shivered when Kaidan was seated fully inside of him.  He wanted to push back, to feel Kaidan’s hard dick fucking in and out of him, but he held still and enjoyed the fullness in silence.

“Happy New Year.”

Shepard’s eyes had drifted shut, but now they snapped open.  He shifted until he could see the clock.  12:01 AM.  He grinned.  “This is much better than a kiss at midnight,” he said, his voice soft and breathless.

He felt Kaidan’s laugh again and he grinned in response.  Then he shifted his hips, just a fraction.  The movement sent a wave of heat through him, and the he forgot what they were talking about.  He  _needed_  Kaidan to fuck him and he needed it  _now._   He made a noise and moved again.

Kaidan took the hint and stopped teasing Shepard.  He leaned back and grabbed Shepard’s hips to guide him.  Slowly he pulled his hips back, relishing the squeeze as Shepard tried to keep him in place by clenching his muscles.  He watched as he slid out almost completely and then snapped his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt again.  The sound Shepard made had Kaidan grinning as he repeated the motion.  

Shepard’s body accepted him so easily, and Kaidan took full advantage.  He knew his fingers would leave bruises.  He knew he was fucking Shepard almost too roughly.  But with each slow drag of their bodies against each other Kaidan felt a wave of pleasure wash through him.  If the sounds Shepard was making were any indication, he was already out of his mind with lust.  

Every  _God yes, Kaidan,_  and  _more please, fuck, more_  hit Kaidan with a jolt.  He picked up the pace, determined to make Shepard incoherent before he came.  Watching as Shepard’s body opened up to him each time he thrust forward was driving him closer and closer to the edge.  Air sawed in and out of his lungs in harsh gasps, and a few small whines escaped him when Shepard started to twist his hips and shove back against him in all the ways he’d learned would drive Kaidan crazy over the years.

“Fuck, John,” Kaidan gritted out.  “You are so fucking sexy, it drives me nuts.”

He was proud that he’d managed a whole sentence.

Shepard  showed his teeth in a vicious grin that Kaidan couldn’t see.  He was close, so close, and every time Kaidan slammed into him a pulse went through his amp jack.  “Kaidan…” he moaned.  

“Yeah, baby?”

He didn’t know what he needed, other than  _more._   He opened his mouth, but instead of words, only gasps and whimpers spilled out of him.

A strong arm wrapped around his waist, and jerked him upright.  It changed the angle and “Oh  _fuck…._ ” he moaned.  

Kaidan’s hand cupped his balls, rolling them between his fingers.  A rusty voice whispered in his ear as Kaidan continued to pound into him.  “You going to cum for me?”

And then dark energy swept over his skin as Kaidan let his biotics pulse and Shepard was cumming.  He cried out sharply, his voice high and breathless.

Kaidan felt the clench of Shepard’s muscles as he began to cum, and he felt a rush of glee that he’d fucked him into a climax without even touching his dick.  And then that thought was gone, as his own orgasm rocked through him.  He buried his face in the space below Shepard’s amp jack, smelling ozone as another wave of dark energy flowed between them.

His hips stuttered, and then he was collapsing forward.  His weight took them both down onto the bed.  Shepard was solid beneath him, his ribs expanding and contracting with each breath, rocking Kaidan through his climax.  “Fuck, John,” he managed to huff out after a few moments.

Shepard’s body shook with his low, rumbling laugh.  “Happy New Year.”

Kaidan bit him for being a smart ass.

Palms slamming against their door startled them both but it didn’t open.  A chorus of voices, their friends, came from the other side of the faux-wood panel.  “Happy New Year!”

Kaidan began to laugh.  He didn’t have the energy to roll off Shepard, but he pressed a kiss to the skin where he’d left teeth marks.  “I hate our friends sometimes.”

“At least they stayed out there this year,” Shepard said with another snort of laughter.  

They rolled onto their sides, Kaidan slipping free of Shepard’s body.  He pulled Shepard close, spooning around him in the tangle of their blankets and began peppering kisses along his shoulders.  “Ok, then I don’t hate them this year.”

Shepard laughed again, then wiggled closer.

 


	9. Food Fight

Shepard is at the sink washing his hands after slicing up a chicken, and Kaidan is at the kitchen island chopping vegetables  There is a bowl of strawberries on the counter, set aside for dessert.  Neither one of them are anywhere near it.  Shepard catches a flash of blue light out of the corner of his eye and then something hits him in the back of the head.  He turns around, and Kaidan is still slicing bell peppers, looking a little  _too_  innocent.  Shep narrows his eyes and looks down to see what hit him.  Near his foot is a strawberry.  

"You’re wasting berries."

Kaidan doesn’t look up.  ”What berries?”

_Oh, so that’s how it is._  Shepard concentrates and the strawberry lifts off the floor, surrounded by a corona of dark blue.  A twitch of his hand flings it at his husband, hitting him right in the center of the chest.

Now Kaidan looks up, slowly, and there’s challenge in his eyes.  Eyes that are glowing blue with biotic energy.  One side of his mouth quirks up in a smile.  ”You really want to do this?”

"Just finishing what you started."  Shepard bares his teeth and he allows dark energy to flow through him in preparation for what is bound to be a truly epic food fight.  


	10. Sparring

Having been directed to the shuttle bay by EDI when he’d asked where Shepard was, Kaidan now watched from a safe distance as the Commander and James attempted to pummel each other into submission without doing any actual damage.  They had not been completely successful, though.  James was bleeding from his bottom lip already, and it looked like at some point he’d tried to swipe it away because the blood was smeared across his jaw.  Shepard himself had some suspicious swelling around one of his eyes that was probably going to start turning purple soon.

Chakwas was going to lay them both out if they didn’t tone down the rough housing.  

Kaidan felt he probably should step in and break them up when Shepard landed a particularly rough punch to James’ ribs, but he didn’t move from where he leaned against the weapon mod bench.  He crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to flinch when James retaliated with a meaty fist to Shepard’s cheek.  Tension was high for the whole crew, and if a couple of them wanted to take it out on each other, he wasn’t going to stop them.  He trusted Shepard to know his limits and stay within them, even if James might be a little too hot headed to have the same understanding.

"They should be winding down soon," Steve said from nearby.  "Vega is starting to slow down a little."

Kaidan nodded an acknowledgement.  He’d noticed too.  He’d also noticed that Shepard didn’t seem winded at all.  His Cerberus upgrades gave him a lot more stamina.

A smirk pulled at Kaidan’s lips.  That stamina was great for more than just fighting.  He’d learned that rather quickly once he’d started sharing Shepard’s cabin.

Just as Steve had predicted, James finally ran out of steam and called a halt to the sparring.  Shepard relented, of course, but Kaidan didn’t miss the flash of disappointment in his bright blue eyes.  

Feeling a little restless himself, Kaidan activated his biotics in glowing barrier over his skin, catching Shepard’s attention.  ”If you’ve still got a little energy left to burn-” he flicked his fingers and sent a tiny push of dark energy at Shepard, knocking him back a few steps, “I’m up for a sparring session.”

James laughed, a deep sound that came from deep in his belly.  ”You might actually have a chance of takin’ him down, L2.  I softened him up for you.”

Shepard grinned wolfishly at Kaidan and activated his own barrier.  ”No, James.  That was just a warm up.”

Kaidan returned Shepard’s grin and without warning brought both his hands up in a sweeping motion to start a pull.  The shuttle bay cleared out quickly then, because no one wanted to get in the way of two biotics going at each other, even in fun.  And that suited Kaidan’s plans just fine, because he had no intention of burning off  _all_  his restless energy using his biotics.  Not when there was now a completely empty area where he’d get to hear Shepard’s moans echo as he fucked him against one of the cargo containers.

His intentions must have come through, because Shepard barked a laugh and his look turned smokey.  ”Bring it on, Alenko.”

"Yes, Sir."


	11. Where Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a Tumblr Prompt "Where Are You?" from bright-wings.

Kaidan jerked awake, the tendrils of his nightmare still looped around his mind.  Those last moments, hearing his commander mumbling that he didn’t know how to activate the Crucible, and then the dead air that followed still haunted him and he needed to reach out and touch Shepard.  He needed proof that he’d survived the explosion.  That they’d been able to put him back together, maybe not as good as new, but alive, and that was good enough.

He rolled in the bed, reaching for Shepard, only to find empty space.  The sheets were still rumpled from being slept in, but were cool the touch.  The anxiety that had woken him increased and his breath hitched.  ”John?”

There was no answer, and his heart started to pound in his temples.  He wouldn’t panic.  He was a soldier, and he had the training to keep a level head under a lot worse conditions than a missing lover.  But he was far from calm.  Shepard was recovering, but he was not anywhere close to  _doing well._   He was withdrawn, and moody.  A temper that Kaidan had never seen him display surfaced without warning over little things like being unable to hold his own coffee due to shaking hands, or not being able to recall recent events very clearly.  

Ok, so they weren’t exactly little things, and Kaidan understood why Shepard was having such a hard time with his slow physical recovery.  He also understood that Shepard’s frustration was topped with a heaping pile of survivor’s guilt.  Between Miranda and Liara, Shepard was well supplied with medications for his pain, and his depression, despite shortages caused by the war.  But he didn’t like to take them, and that left Kaidan to try and smooth over the sharp edges of Shepard’s moods.

Throwing back the blanket, Kaidan rolled to his feet, ignoring the twinge of his own healing injuries.  ”John?” he called a little louder.  Still no answer. 

He explored the cabin, but there was no sign of the other man.  ”Where the hell can he have gotten to?” Kaidan mumbled as he pulled on pants and boots.  Shepard was still on crutches.  He couldn’t have gotten very far.

Kaidan left the cabin.  Outside he called for Shepard again, still with no results.  He looked down at the long grass surrounding the little house and saw a trail where Shepard’s feet had trampled it down.  Kaidan followed the trail toward the orchard.  For the first time since they’d left the hospital to live in the privacy of Kaidan’s property, he worried that it might not have been a good idea to take Shepard so far away from what was left of civilization.  If they had stayed in London, there would have been more people around to keep an eye on the injured war hero.

Several yards into the bare trees of the orchard, Kaidan lost the trail.  The grass didn’t grow long enough here to hold footprints.  ”John?” Silence.  ”Dammit, John!  Where are you?”

Calculating that Shepard wouldn’t have meandered too much, Kaidan just started walking a straight line away from the cabin.  After several more yards, his risk paid off.  He could hear singing.  It was faint, but it was definitely Shepard.

Kaidan broke into a jog, following the sound.  He slowed to a stop when he finally saw Shepard.

Shepard was sitting between the roots of one of the apple trees, his crutches laid out on the ground next to him.  His injured leg, wrapped completely in a brace because of the newly installed knee, was stretched out before him, and he was rubbing at his thigh.  The lines in his face made it obvious he was in pain.  But it wasn’t coming through in his singing.

Kaidan didn’t recognize the song, although it sounded a little bit like a lullaby.  He hadn’t heard Shepard sing in such a long time, and although the commander’s voice was a little bit rough from disuse, he still sounded amazing.  

When the song ended, Shepard looked up.  ”I’m sorry.” His voice was low enough that Kaidan had to strain to catch the words.  ”I just… needed to walk.  But I couldn’t quite make it back.  I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Kaidan walked over and carefully lowered himself next to the other man.  He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.  Shepard nuzzled into his neck and sighed contentedly.  ”It’s ok,” Kaidan said quietly.  ”I’m just glad you’re alright.”

"Not really," Shepard murmured against his skin.  "But better now."


End file.
